Rajini- Best Jokes !!!

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there..

Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.

If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano

Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?

Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.

When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying “BANG”

Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

Rajinikanth can divide by zero.

Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes

Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth

Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa

Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink

Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

Naan oru joke sonna..........

Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie.He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a hugepile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.

2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanthhas a gun but unfortunately only one bullet.Guess, what he does.......He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots thebullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has nobullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations.He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast.The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible)..Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket(Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.